I refuse

No more voices from the past
I won't listen to you
I won't let the beatings last
Past the fist-fall where they do
I won't beat myself up
In the memory of you.

Fade away like thunder
Raining down my world
Trying to tear my life asunder
Roaring in my head
Even when the skies are dry
And made of blue and white
Even when I'm smiling -
I'm terrified inside
Every time I hear the words
Or see the sight of you
Pulling my away from home
And stealing my childhood
Every time I feel the chill
That I might prove you right
And fail, and end up in the dirt -
Or turn out just like you.
Every time I see myself
And you reflected back
Every time I reach out
And feel air
Close in my hands.
Every time I open up
And give it all away
All of my, all my heart
For nothing, but pieces.
I won't withhold my trust forever
I'll just never trust YOU again,
I'll never ever love you
I'll never be your friend.

At my darkest hour
Where the world has turned to ice
I won't let myself be lost again
I won't listen to your voices.
I won't let them turn my feet
I won't let them close my eyes
I won't let them make me afraid
I won't let them turn my heart to ice
I wont' fear your name.
I won't be the girl your actions made
I won't be the fool you played.
I won't let you decide my worth
I'm worth ten of all of you
This was not what I deserved.
You chase me in my nightmares
You hide inside my dreams
You wait for me when I wake up
To pierce my life again
To break me into pieces
Just when I thought I came so far
Even though I'm a little chipped
A little worse for a wear a lot
Too many times re-sewn, re-ripped.
You gave me wounds worth bleeding for
You gave me scars for life
But I will not lay down forever
And push myself
Against your knife.
I won't be the one to bare
These scars for all to see.
I dont need your sorry anymore -
Its you that did this, live with your guilt,
But now, you can't touch me.